he is just not that into you!

ah. blogger is screwy. everything is all over the place now. hmm. sounds a little bit like my state right now.

if the horse is dead, get off

got back prelims. AABE. The E looks terrible dont it. but it's fmath. and i dont really know what to do with FM. I'm pretty discouraged by fm. ohwell. and i think i'll get double Us for my 2 s-papers.
but that's not why i'm feeling kinda down now. not at all.

i dont know really know what to do now. it's like a dejavu, from a few months back.a smaller one perhaps. but big or small, it's not very nice.
ah, this is very difficult to type out.
nvm, another entry.

-my humps-

ah i'm trapped at home!
the weather's bad. and my skin!! my skin is like prickly and painful! despite all the moisturizing. like ebony in the 1st america's top model. haha. ahhh. it's still red! and my throat is hurting. stupid sentosa.
and i realized i've got no more moolah to spend. so i cant go out anyway. glenda invited me to dinner, but i've got no money. :( so i'm a poor little sick sad soul with nothing much to do.

and i want the creative zen micro. i know, i know it's been long. the ipod nano looks like a gem , but it's quite useless. and the zen neeon is just gross, i dont know why i hate it so much. but i think it's really ugly. especially the awful, awful stick-ons that they advertise with it. but dad doesnt wanna buy for me. it's only 299! so i think if i do well for prelims, he might just buy me one. i hope. if not i'll set up a buy-clara-an-mp3-plyaer fund. and all the birthday monies will go into it.

or, i'll steal from my other sacred, untouchable bank account!

i'm looking at a taiwan bag site, which sells really gorgeous stuff, except i cant read the other type of chinese so it gets quite annoying.
rahh. dont know what to do.

me synyi and jan. and carol's face half blocked out.
class.

haha. pictures from janani.
today is stay-at-home-and-heal day. my throat's sore, my skin, needless to say, in dire need of repair.
dont know what to do tmr.
ooh finished my ucas essay!

of the sun, and lots of moisturizer.

sentosa with the class today.
must say it was pretty fun although i didnt think it would be at the beginning. didnt bring my digi cam cuz i figured i'll be busy doing other stuff and not be taking pictures.
went swimming at siloso beach. went to one tiny island to another. rocks were slippery, with tiny barnacles threatening to tear your skin.
and then we ordered pizza at the beach.
after that i just floated around in the sea with h while the rest went cycling.
ooh, and i attempted to play beach volleyball, but i ended up standing at a tiny corner where there would be no balls thrown at me. i hate balls. i hate flying balls! and volleyball's really not my thing cuz i'll either catch the ball or run away from it.not very good. oh, and many many rj people were there!

but now i'm completely burnt. like some freak who's red all over. i wanna drip moisturizer all over myself so i wont peel. so i'm staying at home tomorrow, i'll draw all the curtains and not let a ray of light touch my raw skin. haha.
i just slathered calamine lotion, on top of shea body lotion on my extremely daft-looking and very red back.

alright, second round of moisturizing!

just came from causeway point.
bought a jacket from metro! well suprisingly. i mean if u look at the clothes, they are so auntie u just want to puke and die. but i found a lovely structured jacket.
and a bra.

mom's cooking nasi lemak. nice.

and i dont have a sofa for a week. cuz we donated our old one today, and the new one's not coming till next week. so we just gotta sit around japanese style.

sentosa tmr with the class. i hope it's fun.

gusto!

good day! good day.
met up with mich sara lynn. and i was early, so i was walking around fareast and ended up purchasing a top. on second thoughts, the top looks kind of like lingerie.
then we headed to gusto, where we sipped on ice chocolate and yakked the whole day away. endured dirty stares from the waiter who obviously thought we had spent way too much time at the restaurant. but cmon, the place wasnt even half filled.
it was quite nice catching up with them. i'm now nursing a mild sore throat after all the talking. but it was fun.
and then i went with lynn for dinner.
wanted to eat xiaolongbaos at crystal jade but the queue was terribly long. then we went to the other crystal jade without the baos but the queue was equally bad.
so we ended up at delifrance.
i dont dig the revamp at delifrance. haha. still prefer the good ol' stuff that they sell.
and i didnt take any pictures cuz i was too busy talking.

will be home tmr. shall run and exercise. my muscles have all dissolved to fat. tragic.

grimm

potato boob!! haha

watched brother's grimm.
quite alright i say.
haha.
ah
my sister has her exams so she has to use the comp bleagh.

i hate my hair, it's so layered!! garh.

okie gtg.

wee!

wee! exams are over.
didnt do much yesterday cuz i was quite tired after physics s. not like i did much at physics s but nvm. fmath was really bad. although i was the only one who thought so. well, apparantly.
i need to do so many things this few days of break.
and damnit. the whole world's going to taiwan for a vacation. my sister--in the next three weeks or so. and mom, on my birthday!
damnit.
why cant they take a trip now. i'll be more than happy to go.
spent my day yesterday infront of the telly. less than perfect and apprentice.
and i'm going out later!
wee.
that'll be like the first time in many many days i dress up.

ho hum

rahh.
prelims are very nearly over. fmath paper2 and s papers left. and i cant really be bothered with my s papers so there.
things are looking up, slightly.
no dinner tonight. cuz mom's doing yoga. so i'll probably make pasta again.
i'm really tired now so i'll probably not start studying till late. oh, and i'm hoping dad buys me a creative zen for my birthday.
hoping, hoping.
alright
shld cook now. pretty hungry.

saint anger

i'm really mad.
certainly not over chem, although the chem paper was hard.
well.
dont say anything, dont ask. just go.
maybe this a better alternative.

what do u do when your water runs dry
when your greens and blues turn to black and white

i just want to be truly, truly happy again.
like a year ago, where life was simply about school and training. and friends. and maybe going out, perhaps some studying. but that was it.
but now i just want to sleep the whole day in.
and sometimes i really despise myself.
for being the person i proclaimed to my mom i wouldnt be.
i think it's like what robin givens said on oprah. the highs were so high, and the lows were so low.
and now, it's a despairing low.

i'm not okay (i promise)

i'm fucking fedup of everything.
i'm not okay (i promise)

wake me up when september ends.

math was terrible.
and everybody else thought it was easy.

i want, time to pass by quickly. so that i can hurry savour the sweet taste of freedom. well, temporary freedom that is.
but for now, i gotta finish up my physics, chem and fmath papers.
ah.
prelims shld go rot and burn.

anyway. bought ice cream from one of those roadside stalls, because i was feeling sorry for myself over math. and i must say, they're pretty good for only a dollar!
and i bought a hair clip for myself.

but i'm still sad. :(

!!

my back is aching. i just did fmath paper1 this afternoon. and now, i'm completely drained. like something evil like fmath came and suck my soul outta me.
fmath was a catastrophe. and it didnt help that some guy beside me was coughing every 5 seconds, making weird noises. shaking his damn leg. and playing with the stupid pen. and seriously! there's no need to bang ur pencil on the table.
ah. think i'm gonna get an E for fmath again.
damnit.
and chem was pretty bad too.

and i have to study for cmath paper2. cuz i'm not too great at stats.
except my back really hurts and i cant do anything.
bleaghh.

roses&hello

watched roses&hello, a play by law4 at the ucc yesterday. My sister's a bum so she wasnt involved in the law play. not like i expect her to. it was really quite nice, the play. cuz it was very entertaining and funny. like the jappy ads for chocolates and how the bad guy suddenly broke into song and dance. hahaha.

and i felt so underdressed. i was in a french connection tee and a skirt. sounds good right? but the everybody there was dressed up really nicely. according to my sister, those in law fac always dress up really nicely, all made up with pretty hair and pretty clothes.And she's always underdressed. haha. so there.

ah. couldn sleep last night. started thinking about primay school days. and how fun it was. like how we used to be split into little groups. and we'll come up with cute names for our groups. like purple hearts, yellow sunshine etc. I remembered slapping my classmate. and he slapped me back. and i complained to all the teachers. and he got into huge trouble. and how i felt bad afterwards. I remembered how i screwed up the national pledge, cuz it was my first time leading the school and i was so nervous. And my 2 best friends, whom i seldom talk to nowadays (very unfortunately). how we'll call each other up and how we'll fight among ourselves. and how i purposely wrote the wrong answers cuz i knew this boy was copying my work. and how i kept those colourful journals of mine. and this fat indian classmate who told me all about his pet frog, and how we used to make fun of a classmate and her unshaved, er,pits. and how we would make crude jokes with the boys.

haha. and i didnt remember being a very nice person in primary school, but nvm! i am now. haha.

ah. prelims tomorrow. not very good, aye.

40 years!

FREAKY!!!!
this is how i'll look like forty years later. according to www.ifonlylifewasaspredictable.co.uk . hahahhaha.
there's one that transforms me to a guy. but i look about the same. haha.

more than words

ah, more than words by frankie j is really nice, i think he did justice to the original version of the song. i've always fantasized somebody singing this song to be, strumming the guitar. haha. that's like the cliche of the cliches! but hey, they always work.

i think the huntsman program at upenn is really cool. I would be able to get a BA at international relations and a BSc in econs at wharton. then i would study in China for a while, well since chinese is the only foreign language i know.except that i have to take a sat2 in mandarin, which i didnt sign up for. I'll probably have aced chinese! i mean, compared to my american counterparts taking mandarin, i'm pretty sure i'm better than them, although this is not to say my mandarin is superb. I havent come into contact with mandarin since i dropped it last year.

ah....i have bruises all over from yesterday ! i bruise really easily.i used to be covered with bruises early last year from training. when i was still capsizing in my k2s. haha.

rahh.
am bored. and dead and tired.

now, now. i've barely started and i've forgotten whatever i wanted to blog about.
bahh. i've pretty much been sulking at home. because studying aint exactly a pleasurable experience. especially physics. gah! i did a grand total of 5 physics questions yesterday. and much to my horror, couldnt really do any of them. so there i was, annoyed and in a terrible mood.
until i watched tv of course. CSI was on axn so i was quite happy for a while. it's strange that i watch the most tv during my exam period. I've been watching discovery, starworld, mtv and even cnn. and i'm way too lazy to walk to the library to study there. because i have to jostle for spaces, and the weather's abit wacky these days. so i'm studying at home, with distractions aplenty.

was packing my little wardrobe, and it's in a huge mess. i dont wear half the things inside. and i have really weird clothes inside, which i swear i'll never wear out. I have this awful looking shimmery white dress, which i've never worn before, and i doubt i'll ever start wearing it. and then there tops that look weird on me, because of the muscular shoulders i've gained over the 2 years of canoeing training. My shoulders are very unsightly now. Tragic, aint it. and then they are those that are way too small for me now, with my ridiculously long body, wide hips, and ahem, butt. ah! nvm. i still think i look fine. oh yes, and i'll sell my unwanted stuff on yahoo.

katrina's all over on cnn. devastating. I think nature's got a way of punishing people. Like u kill so many in the wars u wage, and boom. a hurricane comes and kill your own people . a brutal way of putting things in perspective, perhaps. and you dont even deliver timely aid to your own people. a big booboo there. now, of couse i sympathise with those affected. Everybody's looting and raping and shooting each other. and then there are scenes of bodies floating everywhere. very devastating.

shopping.

today was great.
after been stuck at home for weeks, i finally got to go shopping! it's invigorating, i tell you, the smell of orchard.
but, i had to accompany my mom shoe-shopping. which was terrible. because she was so choosy about her footwear, we took a few hours, touring many many shoe shops. and i was tired. and i wasnt that interested in shoes anyway.
but i bought a pair of shoes, and a really pretty skirt! from forever21.
it flares up, spanish style, and it's knee length, it's so pretty.
i'm a happy camper now.

but, i just realized my physics is in shambles. i thought i was alright in it, until i started on papers.

and applications are extremely annoying.

mom.
mom made this for me to hang my earrings
flash
spread the love. :) something on my wall.

wee i tried aglio olio, and this time it was way better! except my kitchen has really bad ventilation. so i sweating alot, just grinding the stupid peppercorn stuff and trying to shake parmesan cheese off the bottle. I'm going to get pecorino cheese next time, the taste is supposed to be sharper than parmesan. and i fried sausages! so i had a lovely lunch. :)

okay, the picture below is me in my most natural state. uncombed hair, and big shirts.

of tennis, and tv.

!! roddick lost! to some unknown. and i was hoping he would maybe upset federer in the final.i'm telling you, it's the distractions from sharapova. but quite frankly, they make a fine-looking couple.
so now i'm rooting for nadal. and his arms.

spent my night watching this chinese reality talentime show called project superstar. something like the chinese version of american idol. And the blind man won! this is democracy in its true essence, handicapped or not, everyones gets a fair chance. and then my mom teared at the end of the show, (she's an ardent fan of the show). i thought it was quite funny that she teared for the blind man even though we werent related in anyway. but then again, she tears at almost all soaps. u shld watch her at chinese period dramas! or hongkong soaps. she'll be sniffing away while my whole family continues watching, rather ambivalant.

but i must confess i love watching hongkong serials. everybody talks about american shows like oc, lost, one treehill, but nobody gives a mention about these brilliant hongkong serials. (i never really know the title of those chinese shows, i just watch them and read the subtitles. terrible, terrible)oh, but i loved desperate housewives!

but i cried today while watching sex and the city! when carrie cheated on aiden and when she confessed. and when he said "i really love you" i was like,dying. carrie is an idiot!! and her ex, 'big' is a bigger one! and aiden, is the nicest creature alive.
i'm still at season2 by the way.

and i really hate statistics. how am i going to study econs next time! that is, if econs has alot of stats in it, which i hope not.
oh yes, trying out more pasta cooking tomorrow, with the tips. heh.

aglio alio?

yesterday was a good day. we played, we ate and d was mighty sore after that. ;). gonna upload the few photos that i have later. cuz i'm too lazy to do it now.

i tried to cook spaghetti aglio olio just now. er just that i didnt really have the recipe for it, and neither did i have spaghetti. i had linguine instead. haha, but all the same, all the same. i randomly chopped some garlic and onions. stir fry with virgin olive oil, why virgin, i have no idea. maybe some kind soul will englighten me. i doubt what i did even vaguely resembles a recipe of aglio olio but nevermind!
so i'm reading recipes online, now. turns out u need to add some salt and pepper. which is, perhaps why mine tasted so bland (i added pasta sauce in the end cuz it was too bland so my aglio alio became tomato-based pasta).
i'm gonna be at home for the next week at so. so i figured i could learn some cooking. after all, i've got plenty, plenty pasta at home.

and in the meantime, i'm saving alot of money not going out! i saved $40!
alright, it's probably very little for most people out there, but with my meagre pocket money and notoriously free-spending habits, it's certainly a mean feat! and saving money is actually quite addictive. i dont see the need to buy more earrings or that abercrombie top. oh yes, and i've decided, after my exams, i'm gonna buy materials from spotlight to make earrings and pretty bracelets! i used to make those beaded ones when i was 5 or something. but i think i lost of them already.

urgh, the recipes look really daunting.