ah, my right eye is blurry. so my vision is really bad now, hope i dont go blind of smt liddat.
met up with jaya for lunch before we headed off to suntec for the scholar's choice useless rubbish.
dont think i'll be applying to government scholarships,although i'm in desperate need for one to get myself overseas. but i dont picture myself as a civil servant for the next 10 years of my life. well unless, it's like the ministry of foreign affairs, which sounds vaguely cool and non-lifeless.
then me, jaya and carol went to get our free ice cream and walked around for pretty dresses for prom.
really really fun. we should really do this more often. it's nice going shopping with girls, trying out ridiculous frilly dresses. those 2 girls are tall and slim so they fit well into nice long dresses. while i'll just be swimming in a sea of cloth. oh but the daniel yam ones are gorgeous! except that half the world will be decked out in dy's outfits.
i like frills!
oh and i got a new digi cam! it's red and samsung. havent quite figured out all the settings yet, but that means i dont have to fight for the cam with my sister. the panasonic one looks sleeker, but i'm happy with this. it has more megapixels then the other anyway.
so today's an alright day.
think i shall go sleep, at the holy time of 10.15, cuz i'm tired. and my eyes are just not functioning.

No,no,no, nooo
Dont phunk with my heart

staring in the sun

woah.
physics prac was awesome. spent it with the girls at little india, where we threaded our brows and ate absolutely wonderful indian food. paper thosai is now my favourite dish, i especially like the green and white dips. okay, i dont think they are called dips, or "green or white". but it was really good.
physics pracs should be like that, and then i'll look forward to fridays and be a happy girl. :)
but right now, i'm penniliess and in debt.
and theory of euqations is absolutely vile.

i counted the number of math topics i have to study. 35, not counting those after cts.
not a very pleasant thought, aye.
today was a fine day, short 2pm day with no annoying physics s and i caught the island. it's an okayy show. never really thought scarlet johanssen was hot or pretty, contrary to what everybody thinks. and her boobs! have suddenly enlarged significantly in this show.
but that's not my point. am early awaiting the opening of charlie&thechocolatefactory.
lovely lovely day today. :)
and i got bill bryson's book again. so i can laugh randomly and look like a complete idiot. haha.

yash: hey, u tagged! haha this blog has a readership of what, 2 or smt. but nvm i like it like that. i want to stayover at a hotel again! (and play slapjack without glasses)

This vacation's useless
These white pills aren't kind
I've given a lot of thought on this 13 hour drive
I miss the grinded concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives went by so fast
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
Where I laid and told you but you swear you loved me more

Do you care if I don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
Will I shake this off pretend its all okay
That there someone out there who feels just like me
There is

Those notes you wrote me
I've kept them all
I've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
With every single letter in every single word
There will be a hidden message about a boy that
Loves a girl
Do you care if I don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
Will I shake this off
Pretend its all okay that there's someone out there who feels just like me
There is

box car racer-There is

photos are all up under triggerhappy.
went for a manicure today. my nails are a pretty pink now, hopefully no teachers come and give me lil white slip.
all these university talks are beginning to scare me, not like i've been to any one of those, but just the thought of going to uni.
thinking of trying yoga for scoliosis. but apparantly it's quite painful, if i want to correct my spine. takes about 6mths.
dont really have the time for that now. after exams, i'll go do just that.
today's a bad day. :(

jing and youjia-k2 1000. the race that i didnt qualify for.
k2!!!
with the girls at marche. tammy, jing, me, glenda,yonghui
girls team
me glenda yonghui

me and haynes

sometimes i feel like the biggest moron on earth. always starting and ending the conversation.

anyway.
i think i'm rather sane now, after all the madness the past four days.
it's going to be weird seeing everybody in school tomorrow. and then after-school tomorrow will be even more so.
wont be rushing down after math s.
and there's no need for sunblock.
dont need to for extra change in my never ending supply of transparent bags of which i have to poke holes in to hang up in the rj toilet.
no more trudging in the mud, treating macritchie like home.
no more moaning of bringing heavy k2 boats down from up the slope.
no more runs into the forests.
no more runs up and down the hills.
no more hides in narrow shelters when it pours.
no more cabbing from macritchie to school, and then from school to j8.
no more sinful lunches at novena.
no more cries for more tape or plasters.
and my wilson cap wont be used in a really long time.
blah.
i'll miss this all.

lemony snickets

so there.
a bronze, bucketful of tears, but a hell lot of memories.
wed-thurs-friday have been a series of unfortunate events, hmm. like, lemony snickets.
but i think we're all really, really proud of ourselves. but we just fell short of mounting expectations.
so anyway. met up with everybody at marche at the heeren. and after that, it was a mad phototaking frenzy.
but the certain half of the team just like to spoil things by leaving abruptly, leaving all of us outside nydc. in fact, i enjoyed the dinner last year more so than this year.
but after the dinner was the real fun. haha. the madness.
so we hung around outside heeren for an extremely long time, like a bunch of morons, discussing where to go. because hotels are completely overbooked and ridiculously priced. and hotel81 was being contemplated.
so then, we decided traders hotel. and so begins our ridiculous journey towards traders.
i was completely high. me and tammy. thank goodness for grounded pple like jx and mich. if not both of us would just sit on the streets and laugh the whole night. and then, all of us started walking around in circles because we didnt know how the heck to cross to the other side of the road. so there we were, in pretty clothings and heels, trudging through bushes. and mind you, this is orchard road.
so yes. screaming at everything. laughing at everything. scaring ourselves to death by treating people like ghosts. and everything, we finally reached traders.
slapjack without glasses. (of which perfect-eyesight tammy failed miserably at) hide and seek. the number of places u can hide in a tiny room never ceases to amaze me. and more card games. oh, and how to lose a guy in 10days!
and a lot, of kicking at night. much to my annoyance. hahaha . and in my stupor, i walked into a wall in the middle of the night. no actually, 4am and grabbed mich's blanket.
alright. i think i should get some sleep noww.

outrageous

things didnt really go as well as plan.
i lost to srjc today. by a little.
am upset, naturally. but hey, i have no regrets. i think me and haowen did the best we could and we were just edged out by an opponent, that really crept out from nowhere.
and now we aint doing too great. with only 5 remaining boats, and the gold seemingly lost. tammy's race was heartbreaking to watch. hmm. on second thoughts, so were ours.
i was devastated after my race. and for a while, me and hw were just sobbing in the boat. and for a while, i was in a much too terrible state to face my teammates.
but then again, canoeing was never about the number of medals u win, or the number of races u win. it's really more about rowing the best race that u can ever row, know that with every dip of the paddle, u'll pulling as hard as you can possibly can.
and the gold might be out of sight, but as youjia says, we have more than a gold medal over here. because 10 years down, it's not the medals/races that we remember, but rather the intangibles. like the bonds you've made, and the experiences that go with it.
and my last race for raffles was good.
and as much as i whine and complain about trainings, i'm beginning to miss it all already.
haowen.yonghui.jiaying.jingting.youjia.yash.dior.glenda.michelle.tammy.jiaxin.
hmm. never expected the end of season to be so painful.
and there are no clear pictures of me and hw rowing!
damn.

we have nothing to fear, because we have nothing to lose-jiaxin(!)

glenda :"we'll gather all the luck in the world and tmrw we'll fly."

love forever, love for free

okay. it's tomorrow.
now bugger off, other people.

am sitting at home. waiting for training.
i really should be doing something more productive, like chem or something.haha
it's pouring outside.
funny, how when u wish for rain to skip training, it never happens. and when u're dying to train, it pours.

hello.
my computer screen is green, i'm exhausted, all signs indicate i should go sleep, but i have to write about today.
one moment we were getting all high on food at rafflestownclub and the next, we were seated in a circle in the harmony room, bawling our eyes out.
the pre-nats talk was perhaps, the most emotional one i ever had.
and we were all talking about our aspirations, goals, and feelings about the upcoming nationals. so the voices started breaking, and the tears started flowing.
jiaying's speech was, heartbreaking. and when i heard her, i just started bawling like a kid. and to see yonghui, shed a tear, is just, not right.
we all want it so, so badly. i dont know what i'll do if we dont get the gold.
ah. this is terrible to put in words. but the crux of this, is about rowing the very best race, u know you wont regret. i think this sounds absolutely cheesy to somebody who doesnt know about canoeing, or to those who do but cant give a damn (a certain half of the rj canoe team, perhaps)
and i'm terrified. i want to make it to the finals, and well into it. fourth would be a decent position.but i fear i'll finish a race, knowing i could have done better.
i want everybody to be really really happy this friday. i want all of us to be really proud of ourselves, and to know that our 2 years of hardwork and sheer grit paid off.
i dont want to disappoint hw, nor myself, nor the team.

so yes, here's cheers to a room at fullerton for the night, and lovely lovely buffet on the house. :)

lil dripping laughinstocks

ah!
slap yuqiang, please. we ended up completely drenched after a mere 2k warmup. me,hw, and jy boarded the bus barefooted. and soaked. then 2 cj girls burst out laughing when they saw us. but it was quite an experience running about barefooted. and we were dripping water on the bus! like, dripping.
so there. i wasted my time, and i'm really really exhausted now, probably from all the running around.
what a royal waste of time and energy.

here's a rather interesting quiz ripped off from h's blog
first you list 20pple then u answer questions.

1haynes.
2 weirong.
3 yonghui
4 glenda.
5 tammy.
6 sara
7 jaya
8 synyi.
9 carolyn.
10 yash
11 haowen
12 sabrina
13 jingting
14 michelle.h
15 lynn
16 gina
17 jiaying
18 darryl
19 prameet
20 youjia

1. Is #9 (carolyn) a boy or a girl? girl
2. would #11 and #2 make a cute couple? hahaha.sab&hw! yep
3. #18 and #4? darryl&glenda. very very odd.
4. #17's grade. j2.
5. #12 last talked to you when? online.a week ago. when i told her about my purchases on vs. and we had a merry talking about shopping.
6. #6 favourite band. not really into bands. jaychou, maybe?
7. #1 any siblings? a sister.
8. would you ever date #3? never! but absolutely as a girl-fren
9. #7? same
10. is #16 single? nope
11. #15's wiryasaputra
12. #10's mid name? siti.
13. #5's fav thing? spend time with her g.
14 is #13 hot? to yuqiang. haha
15. #14 ever crushed on #19? hahahaha. no. (this thing is coming up with really odd matches)
16. #20's school. rjc.
17. random fact about #11? nickname-wati.
18. #1? has girly legs
19. #4? cannot balance for nuts
20. ever crushed on #15? nopee
21. #9 lives at? orchard
22. #3's fav colour? red
23. would you make out with #14? hahahaa.no
24. #5 and #6 are best friends? dont know each other
25. #7 likes ronaldo? hmm. possibly.
26. #8 likes #19? yeah. oh but prameet said synyi looks like she has down syndrome. haha. so maybe not.
27. how did you meet #2? sec3classmate
28. #18? laos
29. #10 has any pets? no, esp not a dog.
30. is #12 older than you? slightly. both october babies
31. is #17 the sexiest in the world? haha yepp

hohum

been rather busy of late.
20,21,22. and today's 13. and that leaves us with 3 trainings left.
after which, it's wham, bam and i'm not quite so sure how to deal with the aftermath.
and as much as i rant about how i absolutely abhor training, or whine about the after-water land excercies, or how it kills by social life, i know i'll miss this when it's over.
i'll miss screaming at hw to pull, i'll miss being screamed at by everybody to lift those elbows of mine, i'll miss everything.
but meanwhile, i am hell anxious about 20,21,22. heats-semis-finals. i'm praying very very hard that the path will be smooth. i'm not expecting to win the race or anything like that, but finals, no less.
i'll be crushed if.

wait, no ifs.

hoho

wow. training consecutively from sunday to saturday. I pray i come out of this unscathed. and my strokes. are appalling. so it gets rather depressing.
but i'm glad something good came out of trng today.
i dont know what we'll do if we dont get a team gold. nobody actually says anything, but i can feel it in my bones. everybody's dying for it.

anyway, on a brighter note, i just finished trading up by candace bushnell. and what appears like a trashy novel is anything but.
But women are more complicated when it comes to their affections. They rarely love simply for what is- but for what might be, and more importantly, for how it might affect them. This is why a woman will endure a great deal of abuse in love-as long as she believes there is something to be gained.
true or not, i guess only time will tell. i think women cling on stubbornly to relationships in the mad hope that something will work out, that eventually, all will be fine and dandy. and that the time and emotions invested will pay off. very very apt for a certain friend of mine, and i guess to a small extent, for myself.and probably most females.
i adore the book! i think candace bushnell is a genius. haha.

yonghui's housewarming yesterday was , interesting. the food was great. north indian. i ate like, what, ten papadoms or something. and then the screaming kids were awful. i couldnt hear myself. and for a while, i really wanted to throw the kids down the stairs. although i must say yonghui and youjia were having a fine time entertaining those twits .haha
oh, and a freaky looking house with carvings of human heads. eerie stuff.

i really like an honest mistake by the bravery! completely not my style, but i do appreciate indie rock, much more. the killers, the bravery, franz ferdinand.
very cool stuff.

yay!
went for some retail therapy today. although, i would much rather shop with a good ol' girlfriend. haha
but nvm nvm , hey at least i got my skirt!
lovely. it aint no a&f, but it was really nice. and every skirt is different.

no sugary, creamy, greasy food for the next 2 weeks.
very sadd. and i just broke the whole ban by eating some fries.
oh no, i hope the fries wont slow my k2 speed.

get up now, move your body!

common tests results are back! and hey, i must say, this term's results are not very bad indeed! so it's A for cmath, B for physics, B for chem, and er a not so nice looking E (possibly D) for fmath.
a marked improvement! yayness.
and i think my strokes have improved slightly with a brac4. so i'm hijacking some j1's paddle now, hopefully jiaolian doesnt protest. nevermind. the j1 can become strong and healthy with my big and battered brac3.
so there. academics aside.
it's going to be nationals from now on.
and after that, i'll study hard, get 4As. then a scholarship. so a 4 years in london or smt. (hey the brits are holding the olympics!)and then i'll fly back, and earn a decent salary, enough to buy all the lovely things i want in life.
a little, little far-fetched.
but i want.

tension, these few days, before it all culminates on the 20july.
it's painful when i think about it. so many issues. so little time.
and then i just want to close my eyes and wish everything would pass me by and then hey, i'm happily eating at post-nats dinner.
dont want to think bout what happens before that.
i'm scared that i'll let down my partner.
and i'm frustrated that she doesnt listen.
i'm at a weird state of equilibrium. ah, everything's oddly tangled in me and i dont know how to let this out.
so i fear i might just poof, explode.

caught alotlikelove today. it was alright, alittle draggy but the ending was so sweet.
rather nice outing, except for the post-movie part. where it was a little bewildering.
so there i was, in the train, silently wondering what the hell was going on, and at the same time, battling with those emotions above. this emotional rollercoaster occurs when i'm not in the company of people. or when i'm alone, or in this afternoon's case, forced into semi-loneliness.
i pray, everything will turn out fine.
everything

FUCK

oh holy

now,now, now
this is pushing a little too much.
see, i got into lots of shit for coming home at a holy time of 1 last night.
and honestly, i dont see the big deal of this.
look, it's friggin one day after cts.
lotsa of people my age go clubbing, midnight movies and what not. so it's not like i commited a crime of anything of the sort.
in fact, i think i'm quite an angel. after all i did tell the folks that the movie is at nine.
so my mom thinks i should be doing my tys-es now.
which is completely ridiculous, because firstly, even if i lost my mind and wanted to hit those books, there's no way i can cover anything, because no new topics have been taught yet.
and while i wholeheartedly agree that all my exams are over yet, i do believe in something called chillaxing after my tests.
and frankly,i've seen enough of my tys-es the last month.
and now, my sister is questioning my right to be pissed at her.
so what, i'm expected to greet her warmly and hug her when she just screwed me this morning by happily telling my mom what i said last night with certain exagerations that were completely uncalled for.
ah. screw everybody.
my mom just doesnt believe i'm sensible enough to plan my own time. i would come home at 2am if i deem fit.
and she thinks cabbing home is dangerous, because taxi drivers will kill me and rape me.
she thinks we're living in the ghettos izzit.
and i'm way to disgusted by my sister to blog about her. at least sometimes i can see where my mom is coming from.
and since i'm in enough trouble already. i decided to stay at home. and i have absolutely nothing to do. except to sleep watch tv and be online.
so there. my life is so happening, i cannot bear the excitement.

yesterday was good, save for the scolding and what not.
Lunch with the girls after training. we were high and crazy and, crazy. where dior tried to burn all the leftovers, yonghui looked into my eye and got screwed for the number game, glenda's uselessness, haowen's obsession of clearing the pit of charred bits, my lovelylovely fried vegetables and that plate of er. black chicken fried noodles.
although the event was marred by certain people. ah, those undeserved tears. tsk. hopefully everything will be fine for, well, everybody.
then war of the worlds after that at marina square. a rather daft show. would have much preferred something like alotlikelove.
took the last train back home and then had a lift frm the station.
and after that, it was hell.
!!!! parents.
and most disappointingly, my great sister. who completely screwed me.
ah.
but nvm, it was a good day nevertheless.

post cts

yayness.
common tests are over! so i didnt exactly aced it, but it was way better than ct1.
so while everyone was partaying post cts away..12 of us were cooped up at macritchie.
trooped over to thomsom plaza for pizza hut. and their service, is appalling. except this waiter who was really nice. so we felt really quite bad for being rather difficult.
training was alright. although it was quite long. nationals are up.. so yeah. i'm feeling rather anxious, about everything. seriously, i dont want to train for two years and get eliminated at a heat or semifinal.so i'm praying very very hard over here. heats are alright, but i'm not going to underestimate my competitors. the last thing i want to be is complacent..
okay.
onlien browsing is quite fun! 80stee and urbn are good stuff.