http://iamnotmyhair.livejournal.com

=(

i feel quite idiotic. i didnt a see a whole paragraph for my paper, and i misread a few questions for today's paper.

my adapter is finally repaired. after short circuiting my whole house, and today, at school. i was really delighted that the electricity tripped at cit today because the man just refused to believe that my adapter was faulty. and i was hoping that the electricity would trip because that'll will really show him. hah. why would i lie about something like that? moron.

week 14

you know how people say they're pulling out their hair over studying ? i am seriously doing it. my hair is knotty from all the layers and the new drying shampoo. so my hands get really bored when i'm studying and i start running my fingers through my hair, then i try to clear the knots. and some of my hair gets yanked out in the process. this has happened many times over the week already.

i'm losing my already little hair from studying.

and one week is too little time to study for 4 modules !! i just finished frantically reading 6 chapters of fim. now my head is throbbing with interest rates, swaps, forwards, futures and options and my eyes are closing. how do people study till like 3 or 4am? i dont understand.

i want

i.cannot. wait. to. go. on. exchange.
i want to go to new york before i head to toronto.
i want to watch roddick play at the US open. flushing meadows !!
i want to go to miami.
i want to go to disneyland in orlando.
i want to go mexico.
i want to go to hawaii.
i want to stay on-campus.
i want to wear nice wintery clothes. for a while.

i dont want to study for audit.
i dont want to study for FIM
i dont want to study for income tax
i dont want to study for AIS
i dont want to start internship

i think i want too many things.........

anaesthesia

so. i got i wanted, a back-to-back internship with both companies. i am happy and really thankful, but there is no delirious joy in this news. after yesterday.

so, i guess it's not a good idea to be honest after all.

all will come and all will go. but there is no good in being truthful after all. i'm beginning to understand why people tell lies to themselves now. let us all pretend to be happy and dandy people. let us all ignore our pains and thrive on visions of grandeur and happiness that may now never occur.

TORONTO

here i come !!!!!!!

morgan & murphy.

i have whined to everybody who was willing to listen about the fate of my internship. morgan is as good as gone. so, it's bye to finance at big foreign bank & cushy pay to tax assistant at pwc. my pay has been cut by possibly more than half ! i feel demoted, and it's not like i did anything terribly wrong to deserve this, except to intepret the school's policy wrongly. which i have pleaded and explained to the school's career office many times, that the policy wasnt put across clearly enough to students.

alas, i should stop whining and accept my fate. i know there are alot of people out there who are still struggling to find internships and i guess an internship at the big 4 isnt too shabby. maybe i have a blindingly bright future working at the big4 and some God up there (i'm just not sure who) is showing me the way. haha. i do believe that things happen for a reason after all. and that we never realize the reason until a while later. it's just like how i remembered feeling crushed that i couldnt go overseas to study on a scholarship. but looking back now, boy am i glad that i'm not bonded to some stuffy stat board for 6 years or so. so, things do happen for a reason after all !

and on a positive note, at least i know i'm good enough to get an internship at ms despite being year 2 and all. i shall pretend i rejected ms to work at pwc. hur hur hur hur. meanwhile i shall pray that the pwc internship is really fulfilling and that i wont be just filing taxes to IRAS.

also, on a completely superficial note, my ipod nano purchase plans are gone with my now shitty intern payyyyy.